Bald Eagle


Assault Reifle
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia For the term used in the 1994-2004 US Assault Weapons Ban, or the possible 2013 US Assault Weapons Ban under legislative consideration, see assault weapon.

Not to be confused with assault gun.

Dear NRA: [I’m using the colon here as a comma would delineate familiarity]

Just as Jack-in-the-Box blew Jack into smithereens and Columbia Pictures shaved 30 pounds off Torch Lady, It’s time to re-brand.

Seriously. Just add another ‘A’ and all your troubles will be over.

NARA. National Abhorred Rifle Association. This eliminates the need to define what the heck an ‘assault’ rifle is. You’ll save time, as semantics now are your sole weapon of choice.

As for the logo, if I were an artist, I’d just update the eagle to what he [or she] would look like after getting too close to one of the bullets you refuse to admit could possibly be put under some sort of regulation.


New Logo and Name for NRA: NARA. National Abhorred Rifle Association

 There. I solved all your problems. Now you owe me $20 million, though, for creative services. You really need to re-think your creative, by the way. That last TV spot was abhorrent. Dead on to match your new name, though.