Rudy | “Awe-pricot” vs. “Ape-reecot”

Author’s note. Rudy | The Unofficial Novella is comprised of notes found stuffed in a stainless steel shoe box that floated up from what used to be frozen tundra. There will be 25 posts containing random insights into the seasonal saga. They are not in order, but will be when pigs fly. This is #22.


The captain of the team reviews the Official Weather Report 72 hours before the North Pole ETD. This morning, Rudy ordered pontoons for the sleigh.

“Prepping for that El Niño. I’m impressed with your foresight,” Santa said.

Mrs. Claus jumped in. “It’s the rain, dear.”

“Sorry. There’s more to it. Our home is melting. We won’t be able to sled out of the barn in a few years.”

“But what about the rain, dear?” Mrs. Claus recapped.

“It’s snow big deal.” Santa snapped back.

“Exactly.” Three days before Christmas Eve, fumes from the last-minute rush of freshly painted nutcrackers would overcome Santa. Mrs. Claus, intoxicated from the brandied apricots concocted by the Elves, would pass out by 16:00 hours.

“So much for Global Warning.”






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