Let’s start again

Put it together.

The Mayans and Egyptians had help from intelligent life.

How else would two civilizations – one stuck in a desert, the other swallowed in a rainforest – both decide to build pyramids that were accurate depictions of the solar system?

“Let’s give ‘em a little hint, on the offside chance that intelligent life will take hold,” the Visitors proposed to the funders of the expedition back in the home solar system.

“Fat chance of that. Let’s see what happens when we give them an ultimatum. An expiration date.”

The Mayans got the prize, while the Egyptians went in the other direction, letting the one percent make slaves build massive pointy things to hold their bodies and belongings.  After all, the Cayman Islands had not been discovered yet.

The Mayans made a calendar that predicts the approximate length of each of the 12 astrological ages.  If you choose this theory [is gravity a theory?] then we are indeed at the dawn of a new age today, December 21, 2012. I found this information on the Internet, so it’s gotta be true.

Make something nice today. Start something good. Whatever you do will stick to your behind like glue.

It’s Aquarius, pal. Regulus [the star that nods to the colon regimen] moves out of the sign Leo and into Virgo.

We now have another 26,000 years, give or take a few hundred, before the next jolt.

Use your time wisely. This is not a dress rehearsal.

Happy Holidays to everyone. I didn’t take Christ out of Christmas. The retailers did. My Holiday means Holy Day. Make yours count.

PS. Collins Chu was a fabulously creative ad agency in the early 1990s. I have no idea where they are today, but I still have their holiday promo pin. No.L.

PPS. As for intelligent life, I don’t see very much from posts from “Freedom” and “Keep My 2nd Amendment” tags these days on Facebook. Maybe it will be the end for them? What do YOU THINK? There will be a test.

What will get your sticker?

One of my fervent wishes has come true. As of April 2013, a little product called Stick-N-Find will be released on the weary world.

Senior moments might just last 30 seconds. Time wasted looking for car keys, TV remotes, theater tickets and your mobile phone can now be spent elsewhere.

It will indeed be the dawn of a new era. This Indiegogo platform raises money for campaigns. Your ideas have a chance to become reality. I’ve seen several ideas bloom here but this, the StickNFind is going to get some of my hard-earned money.

Imagine, putting a quarter-size, battery-operated disk on those things in your life that the poltergeist gets hold of. This could include cats, but might be worth a try with your python, bicycle or car (although there is an app FindMyCar that works quite well, if you know how to read a map).

Before I forget, there are several ways to help fund this endeavor, ranging from $35 to $1400. In return for your funds, you receive a anywhere from two to 100 devices.

One question? What happens when you can’t find the phone you need to find to help find your car keys? Probably have to return to the 20th Century method: call your mobile from the land line (if you an find the remote receiver).